The Origin of Entitlement

Andrea, I know you are an inspiration to others as they embark on the kind of life

changing, deep in the bones redefining of self that your soul work has initiated. I am

happy to hear that you continue to reflect on the aspect of yourself as parent/mother

and what of your conditioning and family heritage is worth passing on to the next

generation and what is tribal evil and must be rooted out, either by you or them, if a

healthy sense of self is to emerge. There is no formula or right way of knowing what we

know but there are some basic principals to guide us, whether we are the child or the

parent. Parents are never dead. They are always in our head and so creating a clear

healthy relationship with what it means to be both child and parent is part of the work of

every generation. I recall clearly the conversation during a soul session with you which

led to the phrase you are quoting from me — “Parents do not owe their children

anything.” It had and has so much to do with the current planetary wave blanketing our

modern society where an adult child feels entitled to their parents wealth, especially

money. Whether the parent has what they have because of inheritance or whether they

have worked their whole life to acquire the wealth they possess makes no difference.

And quite frankly, it is the later that is most often true. They habitually have quite a story

of working beyond their own mental or physical health with worries about growing old,

being a burden and not providing enough for their children and grandchildren.

Sometimes a parent becomes reactionary and has lived with little or selfish parents and

determine to provide for every need and want for their children. There is a myriad of

descriptive scenarios to this theme but the end of the story is that one generation finally

grows up not knowing how to work or be self motivated, self providing, self ingenious,

self loving. The level of entitlement can be seen in every ice cream parlor, department

store, restaurant and play ground across our world. The richer the circumstances the

less the consciousness as to where the dollar, credit card or weathered hands and heart

came from. With little a backward glance or thank you, other than a pathetic and pitiful

obligatory grotesque politeness, the child/adult wants more. And wants more. And

wants more sooner. Perpetual unhappiness, anxiousness and self doubt are the

companions. Lucky are the poor who have love and hard work to help the family

survive. Happy the little feet and hands of a toddler who carries sticks of wood to help

build the fire for warmth and light. Happy the family who pull together and make it

through the seasons of sickness, draught, death and new life with handmade gifts,

soups and song. Parents do not owe their children name brand clothes or signature

hats; not cell phones, best schools or college; not a car, new house or inheritance. What

a healthy parent does, without pay, is instinctually care about the sorrow and happiness

that inevitably takes turns in their child’s life. Like any healthy mammal, the parent

knows that the stronger and more capable and eager the young is, the more likely they

will survive and thrive. Nature is their playground and it affords danger as well as

pleasure; physical strength as well as soul rest; solitude, silence and the companion of

stars. This wealth all people receive at birth. No parent can gift it and no parent can

withhold it. The circumstance of a child’s life at birth is the circumstance of the parent’s

life. One is always moving into the great unknown ahead of the other. Blessed beyond

any measure of treasure is an adult child with a wise elder who can role model wealth,

health, happiness and holiness. If sharing from that wealth remains material whether a

penny or fortune, the wisdom way is lost. If sharing from that wealth inspires the next

generation to become wiser, then love, sacred and eternal, is passed on more

powerfully than genetic contribution. This child matures into a magical being. A being of

greatness. A being who asks nothing of their elders but seeks the opportunity to honor

the fullest expression of their divine nature and reflect it in the world around them. What

a world when one sees this being. When I see such a being, as I most recently did in

listening to Judge Rosemarie Aquilina who sentenced the olympic doctor, Larry Nassar,

abuser of hundreds of young girls for decades, I ask, “Who was her mother? I long to sit

at her feet of her mother.”

I have walked the foot paths of villages in Mexico, Australia, Norway, Russia, Canada,

Germany as well as rural and sub culture America. It is awe inspiring to behold self

poised, self assured, clear minded people who set healthy boundaries, make

wholesome agreements, express innate compassion, know what is right for them and

what is not right for them and even at the age of 105 have a sparkle in their eyes that

speaks of better not bitter. They are from all cultures and countries and conditions.

There is no formula, no one right way to grow a mature creature whether wolf, bear,

tiger or human. Nature helps. Instinct helps. Honesty helps. Entitlement belongs to the

cosmos.

You owe nothing to your child but to make the most of yourself. All else will come

naturally, for you both.